|[||Tags|||||breaking, dance, friendship, hiphop, journey, life, me, popping, quotes, recital, thoughts, updates||]|
it still feels like ive only just begun to dance. but i look back and it's been 4 years. i can't deny ive grown since the first i'd danced. but as with anyone with love and passion for anything, the sky is limitless and i just want to soar. don't we all?
as i explore other genres of dance while attempting to balance my commitments to MJ, i realised how lonely the dance journey can be at times. being so tied to MJ and my mates in the club, we often don't realise how comfortable we are growing together. comfort is good but so are struggles, i've learnt.
ive tried dabbling in breaking but honestly, it's a whole new world, new cultures that i can't help but feel a total stranger to. and there was never anyone walking alongside me on that treacherous road. so i gave up- tucked my tail between my legs and ran. i need a support system. i can't thrive alone.
now that i've started popping, even if for just two sessions, i'd found myself downloading as many popping/ funk music as i can this afternoon, wanting to practice my basics so i wouldn't let Melise or Robin, who were angels enough to take me into their item despite being a total newbie, down. it's a dance genre that is driven by techniques and basics, that i lack. but i'm willing to try because i'm excited about learning, as i always am. i am i am i am.
but as always, it can get lonely. especially when you're excited but nobody's around to share your excitement, to see you smile when you finally got a move right, simply because they do not understand/ want to understand.
but it's okay.
i may not thrive alone, but if there's one thing i take pride in, it's knowing i'm doing a damn good job surviving independently of others. as Janet Fitch once wrote, “Loneliness is the human condition. Cultivate it. The way it tunnels into you allows your soul room to grow. Never expect to outgrow loneliness. Never hope to find people who will understand you, someone to fill that space. An intelligent, sensitive person is the exception, the very great exception. If you expect to find people who will understand you, you will grow murderous with disappointment. The best you’ll ever do is to understand yourself, know what it is that you want and not let the cattle stand in your way."